I finished my first year of vet school! Not that I was ever seriously doubting that I wouldn't survive, but it got pretty rough there for a while. I just think that I have never ever been that chronically stressed and exhausted. And next semester is going to be worse. But I am really hoping I can study some over the summer (UGH) and maybe develop some better study habits instead of still trying to cram before exams. That really doesn't work anymore for tests the next day and for the fact that we are expected to retain this stuff for the next few years, and hopefully our lives....
All the grades aren't in yet but I am pretty confident that I passed them. And I am just going to have to be happy with that from now on because it is not physically, mentally, and emotionally possible for me to get the kick-ass grades that I have in the past. And that is ok. And for people worrying about their vets and maybe not getting great grades...we still know a shit ton even with barely passable grades, so don't worry ;)
I get to hang out in Ames for the next week until my brother flies here to help me drive home with the cats. At first I thought it was going to be great to just relax and do nothing, and while it has been nice for the past few days...I am totally not used to this. And it makes me nervous to have absolutely NOTHING to do. I think I'm going to go to the library to get some books to read outside in the fantastic weather before heading back to summer in the desert. Then maybe I won't feel like such a waste of space
Ok, well I don't have nothing to do...I could start looking for a job. But I'm pretty sure job hunting is one of the worst, most depressing things I have ever had to do and I am SERIOUSLY dreading it with every fiber of my being. So I might put that off a little longer. I deserve a break from torturing myself for awhile right? I earned a few days of non-stressful activities?? I think so. And the nice thing about being a financially-independent (well...dependent on loans) single girl, I have no one to answer to about job and money issues. And my own face in the mirror hasn't given me any judgey eyes yet so I think I'm good.
I am hoping this time off can get me back to my optimistic, generally-happy attitude. I have been such a grump for the past few weeks...well probably more like months. School took a real toll on my...I don't know, outlook and such. I was just complaining all the time. And bitching about this thing or that thing and not trying to look for the good things in situations. And that bummed me out even more. So I'm hoping I can get my mind and soul back on board the happy train, I missed the ride. And I'm gonna need it for next semester...the dreaded "hardest semester of vet school."
Also I decided I want to run a marathon in the next year or two... I would normally just say within the next year but I know how busy and stressed I'm going to be from Aug-Dec and dont want to set a goal I know I can't reach. So I'm hoping to do a half-marathon during winter break and train a bunch over this summer. Running has become a great outlet for me recently, I've always enjoyed it but I havent been doing it this regularly since I was probably in soccer in high school. I can finally run a few miles without stopping and wanting to die! There's actually a pretty big running culture within the vet students but I think a lot of them go waaay faster than me so I think I'll stick with the solo runs for now.
Back home in a week! SO excited to see my family, friends, mountains, gorgeous sunsets, and to feel some of that sunshine. :D